one step at a time.

 Today I am prepping for my colonoscopy which will happen tomorrow around 1 pm. At 5am I woke up and had an avocado (actually it was 2.....but they were kinda small....ish). I wasn't supposed to have anything, but seeing as how my scope is not till 1pm tomorrow, I still figure this gives me much more than 24 hours to have my system flushed clean. From prior experience, I believe this will be more than enough time. It is now 7pm and I have eaten nothing else. I have taken most of my prep medication along with ample amounts of water, some tea, and some broth.
 As I have previously noted, I do have experience with colonoscopies. I believe this will be my 6th or 7th within the 8 or so years I have had ulcerative colitis. Though I do not have much fear of the procedure, and even feel fairly comfortable with the prep (as comfortable as possible), I am more afraid of the results from this scope than I ever have been before. I have been in some form of a flare consistently for over 3 years since my last scope. I am worried that my colon has not recovered since my last diagnosis of severe pan colitis, and may in some way have gotten worse or developed a cancer. I am afraid that the recommendation of my doctor will be to remove my colon as was the opinion of my last doctor when I had my exam 3 years ago. I am somewhere between anxious and excited to learn the state of my colon, hopeful that it has gotten much better over the last 3 years(as my symptoms would lead me to believe), and terrified at all the dreamed up horribleness of what may lurk below. I will do my best to adopt a positive outlook and believe that healing has occurred.
 As for my ultimate goal of performing a fecal transplant on myself, using a friend as a donor, this colonoscopy hopefully will move me one step closer. My doctor said he would like to see a colon that appears to be in somewhat good shape before he can give me his go ahead blessing for trying this procedure. I guess I will know tomorrow. Also tomorrow my friend is due to have some tests run on himself, in order to make his donation (crap) most likely to be safe for me to use.
To anyone who may be reading I hope this whole procedure will go smoothly as possible and that my case will have a positive outcome empowering others who may be suffering and on the fence about trying fecal transplant.
be well,
Alex